Taters and emotional turmoil
by TheOliveWeirdo O.O
Summary: due to a series of frankly,ridiculous events involving cats,crumpets,England's Bed,turkey dressed as a Turkey and god knows what else- Germany,Italy and Japan find themselves lost in the tater-ridden land known as Ireland.Soon,they find accomodation and meet the country herself.What ensues?: sarcastic drinking battles,phobia's of taters,gerlita feelings surfacing and Italy,duh.


The time was three o'clock , aka late afternoon. Rain cascaded viciously down in an endless, alcoholic flow from dreary, drooping, middle-aged clouds. These wrinkled clouds had a brutal and foreboding edge to them, and to look up was to view an aesthetically negative sight. The backdrop to these elements was a consistent stone-coloured grey as if some lifeless liver pate had been spread thickly over the sky.

Down within in the unidentified country that lay below trudged three exhausted men through a dense, intertwining forest upon a muddy and uneven path. These men had been enduring this morose weather and the discomforts of continuous travelling for three entire days now. These men had been discarded within this desolate yet beautiful land due to….let's say, extraordinary circumstances. And the three men had woken up haphazardly sprawled within a desolate dewy field here three days ago with no memory of the previous events which had recently occurred to lead up to this. Ever Since then the three men had been walking and camping, with the imperative goal of finding some form of civilisation and settlement to firstly gain information on their current situation and where they were, secondly to gain some essential goods (which they had but in small, unsatisfactory supply) and thirdly to hopefully regain their memory of recent events. They had no information or ideas on where they were (although if they were feeling slightly chirpier they would've joked they must be in England due to the horrendous weather), where they were going and why they were here. All they knew is that if they stalled and lolled around sleeping for a period of time as they wished to the most likely outcome of this situation would be disastrous to say the least.

So these three men continued to trudge hopelessly along in the dense forest on the well-trodden path they had been following. These three hopeless men were Feliciano Vargas, Ludwig and Honda Kiki.

These Three Men were and are more commonly known as the pasta-devouring Italy, the stern, calculating Germany and the composed, polite Japan. All three were excruciatingly tired from the walking and they looked it. It was as if they were going as half-human half-panda hybrids to some bizarre, macabre costume party. Large bags, like the black sacks of hunch-backed beggars hung beneath their tired eyes. Their Mouths arid and dry, twitched at every miniscule mention of water. And worst of all, their eardrums ached most unpleasantly from the constant drabble of nefarious Italy, nattering high above from a piggybank Germany reluctantly gave to him due to his apparent tiredness.

To briefly cover the string of events that led to this situation, involving crumpets, deranged cats, turkey dressed as a turkey, sudden , delirious unexpected alcohol and of course-pasta. Would be far too cataclysmic, horrific and soul-damaging for what I hope is an 'average reader'. Instead of obliterating all innocence you people have left*I will leave it at-what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Or in this case-what happens in England's bed stays in England's bed

So Italy, Germany and Japan continued to walk westward, a direction chosen by Germany three days ago which was most likely born from an affectionate thought of Prussia. They were still enduring Italy's endless drone. It may have reached the point where the two men were so used to him talking they couldn't hear it anymore as anything more than background noise, a pasta sauce-red fuzz of noise-Who knows? .Soon the three men, drenched by the constant downpour of rain came to a crossroads within the forest of which presented two identical, equally suspicious looking trail's.

One path leading right and one leading left.

This quietened Italy immediately as he was met with this visual decision and both Germany and Japan sighed indulgently, with the air of an individual having a quick kip before being forced to get back to work and enjoying the moment. Germany straightened his ninety degree straight shoulders and hitching Italy up slightly higher on his back, walked a few footsteps forward to where Japan was standing, unbreakable, composed and contemplative. Italy suddenly and erratically burst into a symphony of babble, demanding, olives, pizza, cultured art forms and most of all pretty women-which Germany punched him for, for the outburst of course.

"Which way do you think we should go japan?" Germany asked, silently seething at the lack of a simple signpost to indicate where each forest path leads. Would it hurt these people to invite a little bit of organisation into their lives?! He infuriatedly thought. Wherever in god's name we are the level of basic common sense is downright Nul! Nicht so gut unbekannten Land! nicht so gut!

Japan turned politely to address Germany's question, catching him slightly of guard as he did as Germany was gazing off while addressing his thoughts. "To be perfectly honest Mr Germany, at this stage, I don't really think it matters anymore" and with his expectedly unhelpful reply voiced, Japan quietly turned once again to continue his samurai-style stance.

Germany sighed and drooped like an unwatered flower. It all seemed futile and hopeless.

"I suppose your right…I could flip a coin, I suppose? That is, if anyone has a coin? Im afraid to say, I do not"

"Me neither" Japan replied neutrally.

"Well you're just in luck ima here then aren't you?"

Italy beamed from above Germany's back, and was sadly with the absence of mind-reading powers oblivious to the thought _yep,just our luck_ that simultaneously crossed Japan's and Germany's minds. Also to the additional thought _we've finally found a use for him _which swiftly followed.

"I've a got a coin, but ima going to be a doing the flipping here, ve~!" he pulled a dirty penny from his drenched left pocket and brandished it, holding it upwards like a prized possession and making an over-exaggerated point of waving it about Germany's face as Germany's face convulsed into an expression that resembled that of a severely constipated seal.

Germany let out a child-rearing styled sigh "Yes, okay you, can flip the coin."

"Really?!"

Italy stuck forth an over exaggerated, ecstatic facial expression, as if Germany had just informed him that he was in possession of the Holy Grail, or that he was to be playing the part of the Cheshire cat from Alice in wonderland in a west-end musical and that he should get practicing .It was oddly endearing ,and the young German below looking up at Italy couldn't prevent a minute smile tugging at his lips which he immediately credited to his brain malfunctioning due to their current situation.

Italy then oddly nodded to both men in a business-like fashion, as if they were sitting down to an executive meeting and he was presenting. Both Japan and Germany were quite used to this behaviour as Italy often displayed it-tackling the most ridiculous thing's in a competent and professional way. They both found it rather odd that he could be so serious when dealing with the situation of flipping of a dirty penny but not when on an important spy mission or conversing within a world trade meeting that presented some of the most prestigious, need-to-be-impressed nations from all across the globe. On that thought, Japan and Germany were suddenly ambushed with the unbelievably awkward, embarrassing and turmeric memory of when Italy first addressed and heavily offended Egypt in a world trade meeting and they both violently cringed. But anyway ,this was Italy they were thinking of-if there was a simple and expected way to do things Italy would not be doing things that way.

Italy grinned" Alright then! Im coming down"

Germany shot around to stare at Italy; he had been carrying him for the majority of the three days as Italy had said he was far too tired to walk a single step.

" Vat..."

Italy slipped down from Germany's supportive piggybank, to deranged German accented cries of

"I thought you said you were too tired to walk!" which he, gesticulating wildly casually met with

"But I a was Germany, your piggybank has restored me back to my wonderful, walking self, ve~!"

"I suppose then you won't need to be carried for the rest of the journey then." Germany's words verbally folded their arms.

"I a never said that Germany! Why do you a twist my words a so, ve~?"

This conversation continued for a few heated minutes, until japan coughed in a respectful way to get both men back on task. He then apologised eighteen times for said cough.

Eventually, Italy flipped his dirty coin, and as it turned within the air it glinted with a luminous, rusted coppery shine, determining their fate with its spin. The Three men had decided between boughts of arduous arguing that heads would represent left and tails would represent right. Italy caught the coin in his right hand and covered it in his left palm and then revealed it flamboyantly to his fellow travellers.

It had landed on tails.

They were to head right.

This, luckily enough, would turn out for them to be the right route.

Well, right enough in the sense it led them to settlement.

Not so right in a range of other ways.

Not so right at all.

Moneta! Münze! Koin

Destra! rechts!Migi

*which I suspect is in minute demand.


End file.
